Perspectives in Brief

What are You Doing, Not Just Talking About?

DK — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 15:24:33 +0000

Yes, you have something to say. And you say it in blogs, newsletters, in person, on the phone, in emails, and all sorts of other ways. We’re IMing, Tweeting, texting our opinions and sharing what we know with whoever will listen. But what are we really doing with it and for the sake of what?

What has started more conversations? {!firstname_fix}, what have you done that’s created a tipping point in how people look at the world, at life, at their profession and other people? What have you done that has positive impact even if it gets a lot of criticism.

How are you (in other words) stirring the pot.

Now’s a good time to start.

“A man does not know what he is saying until he knows what he is not saying.” - Gilbert K. Chesterton

What aren’t you saying and why aren’t you?

Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal

A Better Perspective

http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Wisdom and Evolution

DK — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 15:22:34 +0000

Do you unilaterally follow someone because of their title without actually knowing whether or not they have wisdom or knowledge?

People tend to believe someone without question because of their role, not necessarily knowledge or experience, if they read it somewhere because ‘they’ say so (who is they exactly?), or if ‘they’ promise a shortcut to a goal, whether or not it’s sustainable or do-able.

This past week I was in New Mexico for a conference. As I sat listening to the others in the room I realized there was wisdom in everyone, although not everyone shared their points of view. Many expected I would share some of my experiences when all what I wanted to do was listen to what others had had to share. I already know what I can do. I wanted to hear what I didn’t know I could do to evolve me.

Everyone knows something about life, work, and living that I don’t know. Believing I’m an expert and only wanting to share my point of view would make me very stupid indeed. I made a pact with myself to love learning more than teaching, even when I am teaching….to be open to learn what I don’t know rather than validate what I already do know.

As I tell many, listening to confirm what I already know is a dialogue of the deaf. Listening for what I don’t know and integrating it into my world is where evolution begins. To show the distinction…

change > shift > evolve

To change is to adjust, replace or alter your thinking or behaviour. To shift is to move from one place to another - to change position on the inside, emotionally or from where you are looking from/how you are seeing. To evolve is to become someone different (vs just change behavior or expand perspective). Personal evolution is usually triggered by changes in your environment and by really getting who you are now and understanding who you want to become.. To evolve means that you are becoming someone different, not just someone who’s growing, changing or expanding yourself.

Where have you made a major change recently? How have you evolved recently? What’s the difference? In what aspects do you want to evolve and what might be stopping you?

My intention for this newsletter is that you come away with a bit more knowledge and perspective than before you read it. Did I succeed? Is there a specific area you’d like me to write more about? Let me know

Just like people, “Each painting has its own way of evolving. When the painting is finished, the subject reveals itself.” - William Baziotes.

Best…

Donna Karlin
Founder and Principal
A Better Perspective
http://www.abetterperspective.comISSN 1913-6307

Missing the Boat on Purpose

DK — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 15:20:57 +0000

“What if a sense of ‘wonder’ about your life and the world around you already existed but somehow you had just managed to miss it amongst all the drama?” - Nic Askew

Are you so caught up in the superficial things you aren’t paying attention to what’s right there? Right now? To what’s important?

Are you “I should-ing” yourself to death based on what other people tell you you should be doing? Are you paying attention to what’s important…to you?

Are you brainstorming about changes that have to be made to move forward in one sense and in another, talking yourself out of it?

What stops you from jumping in with both feet to make your dreams happen?

The answers to these questions is where the seed of something amazing starts to grow in your life. What do YOU want? What’s important? How can you bring the world in rather than rush to fit it all in whether or not it’s important stuff?

My book on Human-based Leadership is about to pre-launch. In re-reading the interviews I’m choosing for this book one thing (of many) became crystal clear. These leaders didn’t let anyone or anything stand in their way. They surrounded themselves with people who wanted to see them succeed and told the others to take a hike (and meant it).

If you’re surrounding yourself with people who are ’shoulding’ you to death thank them politely for sharing and then go on your merry way.

My clients realize a very important thing. They have one life and want to make it great. How about you? Diving in to a life of choice rather than circumstance?

Best…

Donna Karlin
Founder and Principal
A Better Perspective
http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Dealing with Power Junkies

DK — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 15:14:28 +0000

Are you dealing with power junkies? Those hell bent on having power over people, being #1 no matter what it takes and who they have to step on?People are becoming increasingly competitive, impatient and downright angry in the workplace. As the economy continues to struggle, people are so focused on not being layed off or downsized, they come to work operating through a cloud of fear, of ‘oneupmanship’, not caring who they step on ’cause for them this is survival. They’ll just deal with the aftermath, well…after. They don’t consider ramifications or consequences, they just want to be on top no matter what. {!firstname_fix}, is that happening to you or someone you know?

Then there are those who aren’t leadership material but if they come out fighting and creating tugs of war all around them then no one will notice (or so they think ) that they really aren’t qualified for the position they’re in.

These people aren’t tuned into the concept of emotional intelligence or power with people rather than over people. They can smell the scent of victory the moment you engage with them and enter into a tug of war for position, control, perspective or just because they love an argument and they do love an argument!

How do you deal with difficult people?

1. Don’t pick up the rope.

Do whatever it is you have to do to not engage. The only way someone can start a tug of war is if you pick up the other end of the rope. If you don’t, or let go the moment you feel your hand wrapping around the other end, drop it like a hot potato. There’s nowhere for the other person to go if you don’t engage. There are always solutions to these issues if you stop and take a moment to reflect on your options and collaborate with someone else who can help you deal with this kind of attack-like behaviour.

2. Speak to the topic not the person.

Answer with questions that show you are looking at the desired results not the person’s skill set, behaviour or power trip.

3. Ask for clarification to see if that individual really meant what he or she said.

Sometimes repeating inappropriate communication shocks the other person into reality. If nothing else, it will help you clear your head and understand that you weren’t hallucinating when you heard what you heard.

4. Keep it short, sweet and to the point.

The shorter your communication is, the less likely you’re going to fall into their trap.

5. Don’t keep it a secret.

These people are bullies. Bullies appear at all levels. The more people who know about it, the less power they’ll have over you. Just as you would tell your childred to go get help if they’re bullied in the playground, do the same thing in the workplace. Bullies don’t deserve all the personal power you’ll give away to them if you don’t get help. Bullying is behaviour that can intimidate, offend, degrade or humiliate. There is nothing acceptable about that!

Best..

Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal

A Better Perspective

http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Where Have You Parked Your ‘Real You’ and Why?

DK — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 23:03:21 +0000

We are creatures of contradiction. We want one thing and yet we say something that brings us something completely different. We say we know what we want and yet, when asked point blank what it is we do want, we go blank. We want to be successful but sabotage our own success.

What’s with that?

We know we’ve changed over time and yet we go “home” for holidays or events and revert back to where we were in the family hierarchy of importance and become who we were rather than show our world who we are right now. As a Zen Master once told a group of us, we become “the voice of stupid” or, as I work with my clients on their shadows…we become our biggest nightmare all over again.

Why is it so difficult to be who were really are right now? Not who we were ages ago?

We let programming take over. We turn back to all the programs and all the criticism we lived for years and become that person yet again. Who are we angry with when that happens? Ourselves.

We don’t tell people we’re upset or grumpy because we’re being stupid. We start playing the blame game and blame it on history, or family favouritism. At work when this happens, we blame it on the boss’ pet, the shmoozer….the one who plays the charm game. When we do that we become the whiners, the complainers, the game players so we can one up the other guy.

This complex world we live in is really quite simple in its consistency. We blame everyone and everything else for what’s going on in our lives. We think “If I keep on doing this, it’ll finally start to work” even though we know it won’t. We want to create analogies to lend excuses to what’s not happening where we should be looking at things on their own merit.

Don’t judge things as good or bad and then filter everything else through those judgments. Don’t look at yourself through the same eyes you did umpteen years ago, or through the eyes others looked at you through. You’ve changed, the world has changed, and circumstances have changed. Why not change your mindset as well?

Same old, same old is just that…old.

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.” Friedrich Nietzsche.
The programs of the past don’t necessarily serve us in the present or help us create a future we love. When we take care of ourselves we can bring more to our ‘tribe’, our workplace, and our friends.

D’you want to evolve? Stop looking at your life through the rear view mirror. Live the change you want, right now.

Best..

Donna Karlin
Founder and Principal
A Better Perspective
http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Turning Around Poor Performers

DK — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 18:37:17 +0000

Do you have individuals on your team who are performing less than what you’d hoped? Are you performing less than how you imagined you would? In order to do something about it, first you have to figure the core dynamic of why, so you can get to the cause.

Each person on a team affects the overall organizational performance. There are no quick fixes however once you figure out the whys you can get to the how. Is training needed? Is the individual not suited for that role and would succeed if reassigned? Or can it be the chemistry of the team as a whole. Often individuals are amazing in their own right. Put them in a team environment and the personalities that come together can either be amazingly powerful…. or toxic.

Performance is a combination of ability and motivation. Individuals can have the ability but not care to do much of anything. On the other hand an individual can have a ton of motivation but because the ability isn’t there struggle to keep afloat. How committed is the person? How talented in the area within which he/she is working? Performance brings both together.

You can help motivate a staffer but if they’re in an arena where they have no aptitude, then unless they can be trained and brought up to speed in expertise, you’re setting that staffer up for failure. You’re setting yourself up for failure as well.

So what do you do?

Supply them with resources. What do they need that they don’t currently have to help them in their work?

Train them in areas they lack experience, knowledge and expertise. Match them with a mentor or someone they can job shadow so they get hands on training and can integrate that training in real time. What do they (you) need to know that they (you) don’t know to do their (your) job better? (You get my drift). Who do they need to know that they don’t know in order to get the information and experience they need to move forward?

Redefine their job. Are there parts of their work they do amazingly well and parts where they really struggle? Can you redefine their job, reassign some of the work to someone else, and visa versa so both individuals can really succeed? Can you partner with someone else so you both move from doing mediocre jobs to great jobs?
Reassign the individual to another role. Switch two people who might be better suited to each other’s jobs. If you’re not sure if it’ll work, then reassign on a temporary basis.

If worse comes to worse you might have to let that person go and support them in the transition out of your organization. People want to succeed. If they can’t in your organization then help them find a job more suitable to their skills somewhere else. It’s the biggest favour you will ever give them.

Consequences if you do and consequences if you don’t:

There are always consequences, positive and negative to keeping a poor performer in their status quo. If you help them succeed, you all succeed. If you retain that person even after trying everything that’s within your power to try,

As that person’s manager you’ll end up being responsible for their work and doing their job as well as yours. (Did you want to be doing 2 jobs?)
You will have to work harder than you already are to carry that poor performer
It will impact others’ perceptions about your leadership capabilities (the operative words are ‘negatively impact’)
You will waste time, effort and resources that could be better put to use elsewhere
You will keep that position from being filled by someone better suited to do that job
Others will start leaving as the team energy and credibility diminishes.

Motivation Issue?

Is that individual a poor performer because they’re not motivated? Recognized for great work? If that’s the case, what has to change in their environment to increase their engagement, energy and desire and commitment to great work?

Have you set achievable performance goals with that individual? This might be a great time to have that conversation. It’s more than what they want to achieve, it’s having “I want to achieve this for the sake of….” conversation. Why might they become more engaged? What is the meaning to them, not you?

Once you’ve had that conversation, set predetermined performance feedback meetings to you can talk about how they’re doing in relation to the goals they’ve set. If they’re meeting them, how will you recognize them and if they’re not, how can you make sure you help them turn things around? If they’re not turning around, what choices do you have to make?

The second piece of that conversation is “By when”? If you don’t have timelines for change, then they can’t be measured. Often that’s a piece of the puzzle that’s forgotten….a BIG piece.

Key Points

You have to understand what’s going on in order to implement necessary changes. Skills and motivation create a partnership when it comes to impact on performance. They come together and need to be worked on in tandem.

If you help someone evolve and turn a poor performer around you will be looked at as an amazing manager, have the respect of those all around you and be creating an environment in which people know they’re valued. That goes a long way towards staff retention, energy and engagement. Definitely a win-win.

Best!

Donna Karlin, CEC
Founder and Principal
A Better Perspective, Leadership Coaching, Training and Consulting
http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Words…What Do They Look Like and Feel Like?

DK — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 18:26:21 +0000

When you type something and share it, it’s going to be critiqued even before people read the contents.

Words are important. What they look like on the page is just as important. It’s your visual presence to the outside world or, the ‘clothes of your words’. For presentations the font is as important as the content. For Powerpoints or a Deck as it’s called in government, the 10, 20, 30 rule applies i.e. no more than 10 minutes, 20 slides and no LESS than 30 pt. font (at least). If we can’t read it you might as well not create it.

If what you write is filled with a acronyms I or others have to figure out, I won’t bother nor will most others. We don’t have time, the desire or energy.

When you press SEND I won’t know if you’re smiling on the other side of the message or angry, sharing something important or some fluff that I don’t really have time to read. If it goes on page after page, I’ll probably lose interest after the first couple of paragraphs and if I’m really in a rush, I’ll look at the preview screen to see if there’s anything important I really need to read or it’ll tell me I shouldn’t bother. Don’t you do the same?

Don’t assume the whole message will be read. Assume it will be judged for content and look. Assume somewhere in the back of the reader’s mind, he/she will park their judgment of the importance of what you write and use it to decide whether or not to press the DELETE key next time around.

What message do you want to get across? Say it. Short…sweet…to the point….clear…open….inquisitive…generative. Speaking with (even through email) vs. speaking at.

I don’t often attach a file to my newsletters. This manifesto by Seth Godin is worth your time (in my humble opinion). Makes you think, think differently. Share this with others. Seth would like that. If you think it’ll make others think about what’s working and what isn’t? I’d like you to share this too.

Time is limited. Make whatever you do great!

Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal

A Better Perspective

http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Get Out of Your Own Way

DK — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 20:43:32 +0000

Get out of your way and relax into who you are. If you try to emulate another person completely then who would be you? We all have talents and expertise, strengths and weaknesses. Celebrate your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses….work on them both if you like, though, in my mind, working on weaknesses makes your strengths more powerful while at the same time helps you pull yourself forward.

Many spend so much time fighting feedback. Instead of truly listening to what others are saying, both directly and indirectly, usually they fight back….spending an inordinate amount of time and energy arguing about the message rather than taking an objective look at it and doing something about it. Fighting blocks effective listening, breaking down communication and growth.

Most people spend the greatest percentage of their time fighting their blind spot. We don’t like to hear we’re stubborn or never listen. We like to think we’re perfect. If we see weaknesses in others so readily, why is it so difficult to see it in ourselves? And if we took feedback and used it to get stronger, what would be the downside?

What do you have to let go of in order to listen generously?

Best!
Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal

A Better Perspective

http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Is Work Exciting?

DK — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 20:31:04 +0000

How can you create an exciting work environment? OK…you might be reading this and thinking “You’ve GOT to be kidding!” No. I’m dead serious. If you’re in the middle of chaos and you don’t love the energy of what’s unfolding, rethink what you’re doing and where you’re doing it.

Yesterday I was interviewed by a newspaper reporter about the analogies between sports coaching and executive coaching and how I work with my clients to strengthen teams. She wanted to draw an analogy between coaching football and the risks coaches sometimes take and how similar it is in the corporate world. There are many similarities between sports coaching and executive coaching however one of the places where we draw the line is giving advice. We also draw the line at “convincing clients” to do anything. My clients don’t hire me to tell them what to think and how to do their work; they hire me to help them learn how to think differently, deeper, and more broadly.

So, how do you (as I call it) ‘dance in real time’? How do you remain pumped and energized?

Create a learning environment. If you’re always a learner and feel as if you’re evolving and growing, your energy will remain high.

Treat your team as thought partners. Create an environment within which the team you’re working with collaborates and percolates together so everyone owns a piece of the puzzle of where you’re all going. The term ‘better with’ vs. ‘better than’ comes to play where as a team or group of thought partners you all dance in real time. In this complex world it’s great to know you’re not in it alone. You don’t have to be in the role of organizational leader to have thought partners in crime. If you’re a solopreneur, figure out who are your go-to people to create and learn with and create your own R & D team. If you’re a part of an organization figure out who has the knowledge and experience in realms you don’t have and create a strong center of excellence.

Keep in mind that everyone around the table (or virtual table as in a conference call) with you knows something and has some experience you don’t have. That’s when the magic of an exciting environment starts happening.

I’ll leave you with this “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.” - Henry David Thoreau

Best!

Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal

A Better Perspective

http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

You Get What You Accept

DK — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 19:23:52 +0000

There is a saying that goes “You get what you give”. I’m going to take it to another level and put on the table “You get what you accept. And then you get more of the same”.

{!firstname_fix}, how many times have you heard someone say they attract the same kind of person, whether in a personal relationship or at work? “I don’t know what’s wrong but I seem to attract all the whiners”, “Why am I always the one who gets the difficult staff? It doesn’t matter where I work it always seems to happen” or “I seem to attract friends or partners who are needy. What’s with that?”

We get what we accept and because we accept, we get more of the same.

So {!firstname_fix}, how do you deal with that? Stop accepting. Start challenging. Respecfully.

Don’t “pick and choose fights” eliminate the need for them. If you let things pass without handling them, acknowledging them or dealing with them in some manner you’d better believe you’ll get more of the same. As in the first saying “You get what you give” you can give respect but it doesn’t mean you’ll get it. You can give openness and acknowledgment and even show appreciation but it doesn’t mean you’ll get it back. If you give respect and get insult and leave it be “because it’s not worth the energy” just know you’ll be using up at least 10 times the energy dealing with what you’ll get next.

What will you no longer accept? What do you want to attract? Answering those two questions will get you started.

Best!

Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal

A Better Perspective

http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307