Perspectives in Brief

Is Work Exciting?

DK — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 20:31:04 +0000

How can you create an exciting work environment? OK…you might be reading this and thinking “You’ve GOT to be kidding!” No. I’m dead serious. If you’re in the middle of chaos and you don’t love the energy of what’s unfolding, rethink what you’re doing and where you’re doing it.

Yesterday I was interviewed by a newspaper reporter about the analogies between sports coaching and executive coaching and how I work with my clients to strengthen teams. She wanted to draw an analogy between coaching football and the risks coaches sometimes take and how similar it is in the corporate world. There are many similarities between sports coaching and executive coaching however one of the places where we draw the line is giving advice. We also draw the line at “convincing clients” to do anything. My clients don’t hire me to tell them what to think and how to do their work; they hire me to help them learn how to think differently, deeper, and more broadly.

So, how do you (as I call it) ‘dance in real time’? How do you remain pumped and energized?

Create a learning environment. If you’re always a learner and feel as if you’re evolving and growing, your energy will remain high.

Treat your team as thought partners. Create an environment within which the team you’re working with collaborates and percolates together so everyone owns a piece of the puzzle of where you’re all going. The term ‘better with’ vs. ‘better than’ comes to play where as a team or group of thought partners you all dance in real time. In this complex world it’s great to know you’re not in it alone. You don’t have to be in the role of organizational leader to have thought partners in crime. If you’re a solopreneur, figure out who are your go-to people to create and learn with and create your own R & D team. If you’re a part of an organization figure out who has the knowledge and experience in realms you don’t have and create a strong center of excellence.

Keep in mind that everyone around the table (or virtual table as in a conference call) with you knows something and has some experience you don’t have. That’s when the magic of an exciting environment starts happening.

I’ll leave you with this “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.” - Henry David Thoreau

Best!

Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal

A Better Perspective

http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

You Get What You Accept

DK — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 19:23:52 +0000

There is a saying that goes “You get what you give”. I’m going to take it to another level and put on the table “You get what you accept. And then you get more of the same”.

{!firstname_fix}, how many times have you heard someone say they attract the same kind of person, whether in a personal relationship or at work? “I don’t know what’s wrong but I seem to attract all the whiners”, “Why am I always the one who gets the difficult staff? It doesn’t matter where I work it always seems to happen” or “I seem to attract friends or partners who are needy. What’s with that?”

We get what we accept and because we accept, we get more of the same.

So {!firstname_fix}, how do you deal with that? Stop accepting. Start challenging. Respecfully.

Don’t “pick and choose fights” eliminate the need for them. If you let things pass without handling them, acknowledging them or dealing with them in some manner you’d better believe you’ll get more of the same. As in the first saying “You get what you give” you can give respect but it doesn’t mean you’ll get it. You can give openness and acknowledgment and even show appreciation but it doesn’t mean you’ll get it back. If you give respect and get insult and leave it be “because it’s not worth the energy” just know you’ll be using up at least 10 times the energy dealing with what you’ll get next.

What will you no longer accept? What do you want to attract? Answering those two questions will get you started.

Best!

Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal

A Better Perspective

http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Too Hard to Say No?

DK — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:45:56 +0000

Hard to say no to others or to yourself? You know…that voice inside you enticing you to dip your toe in to test the waters. Do you want that promotion? Or are others putting on the pressure and telling you to go after it? Will the new position bring you a lifestyle you’d like or quality of life you’d love?

I recently had a conversation with one of my clients who was struggling with being pressured to compete for a position in leadership. True, more often than not we talk about “How can I ace that job?” rather than “I’m being pressured to try for that position but I’m not sure I really want it and all it entails” conversation.

Not everyone wants to manage a huge staff and be accountable for them. Some are perfectly happy with producing great work and not having to lead, delegate and keep track of others. Those staffers are just as important as their leaders as all organizations need people to do great work, be happy at work and not be stressed to the nines when a management component is heaped on top of the rest. Choosing to not take that promotion shouldn’t impact your career path. Some organizations frown upon people who decide to stay in their current jobs because we live in an age when bouncing around from job to job is the norm, not the exception. You can still be a leader without having staff by leading by example, being known as a subject matter expert and recognizes as the ‘go-to’ person for expertise.

Leaders are found at every level and position. You know they’re leaders because you want to follow them “just because”, not because their role dictates it.

“Leadership is action, not position.” - Donald H. McGannon

So how are you going to be leader for yourself? Strange question I know. Many of us are so hell bent on being great leaders to those we work with, our kids and colleagues that we forget to look at whether or not we stand for what we believe in and help ourselves grow into our level of excellence. What aren’t you paying attention to that you would be wise to consider in creating your own future?

Best!

Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal

A Better Perspective

http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Intentions Equal Results

DK — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 15:18:07 +0000

It’s that time of year again…time to reflect on everything that’s happened in the past year, not to live in the past but to acknowledge everything you’ve done, everything you’ve lived, learned, and everything you wished you had done but never got around to it.

New Year’s Resolutions feel powerful when you make them. Most of the time they’re things you challenge yourself to do. Intentions are different in as such they are what you choose as a way of being to change your life, your focus and how you want to live. That’s what’s powerful! They all start off with “I intend to…” It’s a self-commitment. Here are a few examples I’ve started trying out which you’re welcome to adopt if you wish …

I intend to become incredibly selfish, not self-centered. I intend to take care of myself and no longer put up with what isn’t acceptable in my life.

I intend to eliminate delay in all its forms, to not throw away my time which is very precious to me. I intend to become a quick responder (not reactor) so I won’t be bogged down with stuff… shoulds …have-tos.

I intend to surround myself with great people, those who care about me in some way, personally and professionally and I intend to tell my critics to take a hike.

I intend to pay attention to the world around me…to remember there are ramifications upon ramifications upon ramifications to everything I do. My impact could go way beyond my knowing. I intend to make it count.

I intend to create an environement that nourishes me.That means physical space, mental, network, learning…the works. If the saying “You are a product of your environment” is true, and by all accounts it’s on target then I intend to craft an environment that is great!

I intend to see everything as perfect even when it clearly isn’t.

I intend to approach the new year with the perspective of having to eliminate what is no longer working by choice and replacing it with what will work for the future.

I intend to give from choice not obligation, to open myself up to possibilities, to learn something new every day and to have a great life.

Embrace your dreams for your future instead of what was in the past.

May 2010 be great!

Best..

Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal
A Better Perspective
http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

The Power to Decide

DK — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 15:18:00 +0000

”Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” - Steven Covey

“Sorry to push you around” was a comment made recently by someone asking me to change my schedule to accommodate another’s. I thought about that for a long time. Do I let people push me around? Rarely. Is it because I have to be in total control of everything? No. Being in total control means being inflexible. I’m very flexible within reason. If that request was made more often than not, I would have made a different choice.

What amazed me the most about that comment was how it didn’t push any buttons. That really made me smile. I can’t count how many times I hear how people turn themselves into proverbial pretzels to please someone else. They cancel last minute, do anything to “make the sale” charge rates so below their worth because they want to get the client. They twist themselves, turn themselves inside out to accommodate anyone and everyone else in the world other than themselves and when things fall apart they can’t for the lives of themselves figure out why.

We can’t as coaches teach freedom of tolerations and being ‘problem-free’ if we don’t live that freedom. We can’t ask anyone if they’re living their lives in congruence with their personal values and ethics if we don’t seem to have them. It’s all about setting personal boundaries. Have you set yours?

If I cancel one client and shuffle my schedule to please another, then I’m minimizing the importance of the first client. And if I keep canceling things in my private life to fit one more person in, I’m of no value to anyone…the client or myself, for what I am teaching by personal example?

How often do you push aside your core values to fit in? …. to make a few extra dollars, get that one new client? What would that say about you?

To take it to a more personal level, how many times have you cancelled a date, lunch, get-together of some sort with a friend, family member, someone close to you because something better came along or someone else made demands of your time? What message does that give to the person you’ve asked for a rain-cheque with? And before I get a slew of emails giving me all the exceptions to what I just said such as emergencies an unscheduled work trips etc., that’s not what I’m talking about.

Think about it for a moment.

As a human being it’s telling one person they have more value in my eyes than another. As a professional, it’s telling one existing client or colleague they’re not as important as another potential new client. In that case I am not worthy of either of them. And as a person I would have few personal ethics if I would minimize anyone for the sake of another.

“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” (Covey) And our ultimate responsibility is to realise how we affect everyone else around us because of our choices.May your choices be great!

Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal
A Better Perspective
http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Is Easier Harder?

DK — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 16:25:41 +0000

As I was fine tuning version 2.0 of a self coaching program, I asked myself many questions that I thought people needed to answer to move forward. One of them is “Is easier harder?” is it better? Do you have to slow down to go faster? People want their lives to be easier but they’re not sure just what that means. It’s a vague concept to them and therefore makes their life harder in even trying to answer it.

Some people are so busy trying to make everyone else’s life easier, it complicates their lives ten times over. People don’t want to ‘rock the boat’ and speak up for what they really want so they run instead of confront. Thing is, eventually they’ll run out of energy by running away or hiding out and it’ll all catch up to them in one fell swoop.

We live in a world of contradictions, most of them created by ourselves. Go figure. Why do we do that exactly? If you find yourself in that category, what value do you get from it?

So in this program I’ve reflected on what the contradictions are such as “People want to take more time for themselves but they don’t book it off or just take it. They give it away to everyone else.

People minimize their greatness by hiding under a veil of mediocrity. They want to be praised by often negate a compliment. Any of this sound familiar?

How can you measure a great day…..great life? Until you figure out the answers to these questions you will struggle to create a life of choice that you love. Thing is if you hide those questions away and not answer them….you will stay pretty much where you are right now.

So I leave you with this…

“There is a point where in the mystery of existence contradictions meet; where movement is not all movement and stillness is not all stillness; where the idea and the form, the within and the without, are united; where infinite becomes finite, yet not” - Rabindranath Tagore

For those of you who want to dive in and try our new version of “It’s All About You….and Others v2.0″ it just lauched.

You can access it at http://www.itsallaboutyouandothers.com If you’d like to add coaching to the equation, let us know and we’ll set it up. In the meantime, pay attention to your contradictions and how you might unravel the puzzle.

Simple!

Best…
Donna Karlin

Founder and Principal

A Better Perspective

http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

Powerful Conversations

DK — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:10:10 +0000

One thing became very clear over the past two weeks and that is how powerful conversations can be when you bring great minds around a table to figure things out.

Last month I co-chaired a Lab in San Antonio, Texas to look at the Future of Coaching in Organizations and led a strategy retreat in Washington D.C. The first, with a think tank-like organization is known for conversations that don’t happen anywhere else, however this Lab brought us to a whole new level. We literally did look at the future of our profession, trends, needs and how we could meet them. So in Washington DC just yesterday I thought, “Why not do the same thing?” We often underestimate the power of bringing amazing people together to co-create what their future will look like. Retreat agendas are scheduled to death with no space to just discuss in a generative way.

Yesterday I had a few reflective questions that I shared with the group. I didn’t dwell on what was and what can’t be any more. I asked about it, acknowledged and respected that they were living the pain of change and then we co-created. We talked and percolated, broke up into small groups and convened in one larger group. We built, synthesized and came up with ideas that they will test drive and live so we can come back in conversation a month from now, fine tune and tweak. They left pumped, energized and eager to dive into whatever unfolded.

Don’t underestimate the collective brilliance of a group. They ache to have a say in what their future will look like. Keep the conversation going in the direction it has to go but don’t define it to the nth degree. Give people space to think, be, wonder and create and they will amaze you and themselves!

Next time you’re going to bring a group together in a retreat or team meeting, leave the agenda open enough to create so it’s not just reporting out. You will feel the energy rise in the room. It’s awesome!

“Without credible communication, and a lot of it, employee hearts and minds are never captured.” - John P. Kotter, Leading Change

What is Your Relationship to Time?

DK — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:03:50 +0000

We want time to stand still when something amazing is happening, so we can savor it. We want time to fly while we’re waiting for something or when we can’t wait to get to the other side of a horrible day. We want more time to do everything that’s on our plate and less time on doing stuff we hate doing.

I work with clients to slow down to the speed of life and conscious thought and not live on the surface jumping from one deadline or pressure to another. We’re constantly trying to cram more into the little time we have and yet as much as we get done, it’s never enough.

Michael Ray from Stanford U. said “If you are conscious about your relationship to time and stress, you will be in self-time, creating your own way of experiencing life without the restrictions of time. As you get into more situations of resonance with your highest goal, you’ll be surprised how easy, effortless and enjoyable the flow of life will become.” You’ll be totally present within time.

The more scattered you are the less you’ll get done of any consequence. If you bounce from one thing to another without focus, you will be doing things over, trying to figure out “Just what was I doing before….” And then “Oh yeah, now I remember. And why was I doing it exactly?” mode.

Make a decision what you’re going to focus on, set your boundaries and then dive in. Remember, just because the phone rings doesn’t mean you have to answer it ‘right now’ and just because the chime rings on your system telling you that you have an email, doesn’t mean you have to read it ‘right now’. Just because someone else isn’t busy at the moment and is perfectly fine with interrupting you when you are, you don’t have to push everything aside ‘right now’. Once you set your boundaries, most of the time people will respect them (if they’re reasonable and respectful). It’s really not about time you know….it’s about how you respect time and your place within it.

So within the time you have at your disposal, make it be great!

Donna Karlin
Founder and Principal
A Better Perspective
http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

The Language You Use Creates Your Reality

DK — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:56:52 +0000

I was recently in conversation with colleagues and friends who said the most amazing things which I will remember for a long time to come.

One friend said something along the lines of “The language I use creates my reality”.

There are so many ways to expand on that. We mirror and make decisions and respond based on what we receive. For those in a relationship with a bully when attacked, hide within themselves. For some, silence begets silence until a chasm is so deep it’s almost impossible to cross as we lose sight and respect for what that relationship meant.

Attitude and language are contagious.

Many lose sight of how powerful language is. It creates images so strong in someone’s mind they become indelible.

Another dear friend and colleague use the term “The juicy part of life…” and there are so many ways to complete that sentence. The juicy parts of life happen when we least expect them…when we pay attention to what’s in front of us…when we create something on purpose or just because of our ways of being. What is the juicy part of your life?

A great deal of your answer has to be on purpose. If we don’t pay attention what’s juicy, life just continues, however we are separated from the joys of life and settle into routine until that’s all there is….same old same old.

This week I asked a client to pay attention to what he learns every day even in a fast paced, chaotic environment. We need to feel we’re growing, making a difference, and bring some meaning to someone’s life in some way or mean something in someone’s life to truly feel alive.

We get what we give…time, thoughtfulness, support, engagement, energy. And the list continues.

I’ll leave you with this to think about…

“The relationship is the communication bridge between people.” - Alfred Kadushin

Best!

Donna Karlin
Founder and Principal
A Better Perspective
http://www.abetterperspective.com

ISSN 1913-6307

For The Sake of What?

DK — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 19:44:10 +0000

OK, what comes first? What next? Shouldn’t priorities filter what pressures there are? Logical question although there is rarely a logical answer for that.

Pressures don’t always fit into the priorities category but they have to get done. So what should you do now? What should you do next? How many times have you had a list of things to do and when they have to get done that gets tossed aside and replaced with pressures?

My clients think I’m nuts when I tell them to schedule in their emergencies. Thing is, the regular stuff, the stuff that you have to be doing to stay afloat, meet deadlines and be a viable organization doesn’t go away.

Successful people know when to do what and what has most impact. I can say my clients are all unique and ‘live’ in different worlds and yet they all have something in common. They feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to turn first.

How do you decide what to do next? Are you paying attention to the ramifications upon the ramifications upon ramifications if you do something or if you don’t?

Ask yourself “I’m doing this for the sake of what?” What are the ramifications, what is the imact, what am I building towards or how am I learning and growing because of this? What is my impact? Is it positive? Negative? What am I building? What am I improving if I do —-?

These are questions that will help you decide what you should be doing next.

Don’t confuse activity with productivity or efficiency with effectiveness. One can be very efficient but not get anything worthwhile done. One can be busy without being productive.

As much as this might sound antiquated, make a list and pay attention to it. Otherwise the regular stuff will be passed over while you dive into one emergency after another and in many organizations, everything is an emergency. Is it really? Should it be?

“Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort.” - Paul J. Meyer

It’s all about choices that build as opposed to choices that make you busy.

Make your choices be great!

Donna Karlin
Founder and Principal
A Better Perspective
http://www.abetterperspective.com
ISSN 1913-6307