Powerful Conversations
One thing became very clear over the past two weeks and that is how powerful conversations can be when you bring great minds around a table to figure things out.
Last month I co-chaired a Lab in San Antonio, Texas to look at the Future of Coaching in Organizations and led a strategy retreat in Washington D.C. The first, with a think tank-like organization is known for conversations that don’t happen anywhere else, however this Lab brought us to a whole new level. We literally did look at the future of our profession, trends, needs and how we could meet them. So in Washington DC just yesterday I thought, “Why not do the same thing?” We often underestimate the power of bringing amazing people together to co-create what their future will look like. Retreat agendas are scheduled to death with no space to just discuss in a generative way.
Yesterday I had a few reflective questions that I shared with the group. I didn’t dwell on what was and what can’t be any more. I asked about it, acknowledged and respected that they were living the pain of change and then we co-created. We talked and percolated, broke up into small groups and convened in one larger group. We built, synthesized and came up with ideas that they will test drive and live so we can come back in conversation a month from now, fine tune and tweak. They left pumped, energized and eager to dive into whatever unfolded.
Don’t underestimate the collective brilliance of a group. They ache to have a say in what their future will look like. Keep the conversation going in the direction it has to go but don’t define it to the nth degree. Give people space to think, be, wonder and create and they will amaze you and themselves!
Next time you’re going to bring a group together in a retreat or team meeting, leave the agenda open enough to create so it’s not just reporting out. You will feel the energy rise in the room. It’s awesome!
“Without credible communication, and a lot of it, employee hearts and minds are never captured.” - John P. Kotter, Leading Change
What is Your Relationship to Time?
We want time to stand still when something amazing is happening, so we can savor it. We want time to fly while we’re waiting for something or when we can’t wait to get to the other side of a horrible day. We want more time to do everything that’s on our plate and less time on doing stuff we hate doing.
I work with clients to slow down to the speed of life and conscious thought and not live on the surface jumping from one deadline or pressure to another. We’re constantly trying to cram more into the little time we have and yet as much as we get done, it’s never enough.
Michael Ray from Stanford U. said “If you are conscious about your relationship to time and stress, you will be in self-time, creating your own way of experiencing life without the restrictions of time. As you get into more situations of resonance with your highest goal, you’ll be surprised how easy, effortless and enjoyable the flow of life will become.” You’ll be totally present within time.
The more scattered you are the less you’ll get done of any consequence. If you bounce from one thing to another without focus, you will be doing things over, trying to figure out “Just what was I doing before….” And then “Oh yeah, now I remember. And why was I doing it exactly?” mode.
Make a decision what you’re going to focus on, set your boundaries and then dive in. Remember, just because the phone rings doesn’t mean you have to answer it ‘right now’ and just because the chime rings on your system telling you that you have an email, doesn’t mean you have to read it ‘right now’. Just because someone else isn’t busy at the moment and is perfectly fine with interrupting you when you are, you don’t have to push everything aside ‘right now’. Once you set your boundaries, most of the time people will respect them (if they’re reasonable and respectful). It’s really not about time you know….it’s about how you respect time and your place within it.
So within the time you have at your disposal, make it be great!
The Language You Use Creates Your Reality
I was recently in conversation with colleagues and friends who said the most amazing things which I will remember for a long time to come.
One friend said something along the lines of “The language I use creates my reality”.
There are so many ways to expand on that. We mirror and make decisions and respond based on what we receive. For those in a relationship with a bully when attacked, hide within themselves. For some, silence begets silence until a chasm is so deep it’s almost impossible to cross as we lose sight and respect for what that relationship meant.
Attitude and language are contagious.
Many lose sight of how powerful language is. It creates images so strong in someone’s mind they become indelible.
Another dear friend and colleague use the term “The juicy part of life…” and there are so many ways to complete that sentence. The juicy parts of life happen when we least expect them…when we pay attention to what’s in front of us…when we create something on purpose or just because of our ways of being. What is the juicy part of your life?
A great deal of your answer has to be on purpose. If we don’t pay attention what’s juicy, life just continues, however we are separated from the joys of life and settle into routine until that’s all there is….same old same old.
This week I asked a client to pay attention to what he learns every day even in a fast paced, chaotic environment. We need to feel we’re growing, making a difference, and bring some meaning to someone’s life in some way or mean something in someone’s life to truly feel alive.
We get what we give…time, thoughtfulness, support, engagement, energy. And the list continues.
I’ll leave you with this to think about…
“The relationship is the communication bridge between people.” - Alfred Kadushin
